


Regret

by darylrobyn



Category: SEVENTEEN - Fandom
Genre: Angst I guess, M/M, Regret, Suicide, not mutual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 02:45:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6782239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darylrobyn/pseuds/darylrobyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joshua's life was miserable because the two of the people he loved most in the world were gone</p>
            </blockquote>





	Regret

**Author's Note:**

  * For [moondaisies](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moondaisies/gifts).



> I'm sorry if it's bad :( my grammar is bad and I'm not very good with detail

"Hey fag, get me a beer, will ya?" I was greeted by my stepfather as I stepped into the house. 

He chewed on gum loudly on gum with his feet on the table and his eyes on the television screen. 

I got a bottle of beer from the fridge and handed it to him. I rubbed my eyes to let my tears fall to the floor. 

I made my way up the stairs. On my way, my stepfather spoke loudly. 

"You cryin'?" He asked me as a form of mockery. 

He walked up to me and glared at me. 

"I'll give ye somethin' to cry about," He grabbed my shirt and punched my eye, resulting in me falling on the steps. 

He knelt down to beat me more. 

"It's a good thing yer mom died, so that she wouldn't have to deal with your bullshit anymore," Hearing that bad news, I couldn't help but shed more tears. 

My mother was the most supportive of my coming out of the closet, so of course, it affected me a lot. 

Somehow, I was able to push my stepfather off me. With such success, I ran up to my room. 

"I miss Jeonghan," I said to myself. 

Why did Jeonghan leave me? Why did my mother have to leave? Why do people like my stepfather have to roam the earth? 

I had so many questions running through my head. 

I lit a cigarette between my fingers, inhaling all the smoke it let off. My tears wouldn't stop falling. 

I looked around my dark, messy room. My eyes landed on a rope at the corner of my room. 

"I don't want to live like this anymore."

I recalled all the shit that happened in my life. 

My birth. Being bullied in grade school. Entering highschool. My mother hooking up with the shittiest guy in my life, who is now my stepfather. Being bullied in highschool. Jeonghan leaving me, and now, my mother passing away. 

While thinking about these events, I hung the rope to my ceiling fan. 

\---———---

"Joshua, I'm ho-" Joshua's mother walked into the room to witness a horrifying scene. 

"Joshua!" She screeched as she fell on her knees, crying. 

It turns out Joshua's stepfather lied to threaten him. 

It wasn't long before the news of Joshua's passing spread throughout the school. 

"Hahaha did you hear? Holy boy's suicidal," The members of the sports team poked fun at Joshua's suicide. 

"Hey, did you guys hear about Joshua?" One of the people at Jeonghan's table tried to start a conversation. 

Jeonghan didn't hear anything he said, except for the word 'Joshua'.

He continued to listen in the conversation, hearing the words Joshua, suicide, and committed.

It broke him. 

He went to the cemetery and searched for Joshua's tombstone with a bouquet of Joshua's favourite flowers. 

Once he found the tombstone, he laid the flowers down. He read the writing carved on the stone. 

Joshua Hong  
Dec.30, 1995- Mar.16, 2016

Jeonghan cried and some tears fell onto the carved marble. He regretted leaving him. He regretted everything he didn't do with Joshua. He couldn't help but feel guilty. Joshua loved him very much. Joshua appreciated him very much. Unfortunately, it wasn't mutual. Jeonghan did not love Joshua as much as Joshua loved Jeoghan.


End file.
